HAVE INTELLIGENT CONVERSATIONS
Out of the blue, my son asked me a question recently. His question was, 'Why do children always ask their parents questions?' I explained to him that children don't know much and that the questions they ask help them know what they don't know. He seemed content with my answer for a while. However, when I discussed this conversation with hubby, he asked a follow-up question that he thought our son might ask. His question was, 'Do parents know everything?'
Hubby's question prompted me to reopen the conversation with our son. Interestingly, our son remembered his question, but he didn't remember the answer I gave. My response to him was not intelligent enough to teach him what he needed to know about asking questions.
During our second conversation, I did a few things that I would share:
1. I asked him why he asked the question: This helps us know what we are dealing with as parents. Sometimes, the question is not really a question but a reecho of someone else's opinion. It might also be a result of something they heard or watched. Knowing what prompted the question can help you answer it more holistically.
2. I answered the question using illustrations he was familiar with: I didn't give a philosophical answer like I did the first time. I used things he was familiar with to answer the question and made him imagine more scenarios.
3. I asked for feedback: I asked him why children ask their parents questions after I spoke. His feedback made me know that he really understood what I said. When asking for feedback, don't be content when your child tells you verbatim what you just told them. Probe further until they can think and state your answer in their own words. You are not raising a robot: you are raising a thinking being.
4. Lastly, I expanded the question so that he could think about it further: I told him that questions are windows to knowledge and that asking questions is not limited to children alone. Questions help even adults know what they don't know, and when they are given the right answers, questions help people grow in their minds.
Having intelligent conversations with your children requires patience and time. An intelligent conversation is not necessarily filled with wise sayings and outta space philosophies. It is one that gives room for your child to think widely and reflect deeply and creates an atmosphere where he/she can ask more questions immediately or in the future.
Do you have a question-and-answer template you use for your children? Care to share?
I hope you learnt a thing or two from this series? Please share the articles with others and let me know your thoughts in the comment section.
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